Common Thought of Sir Rantsalot

When most people think animation, they automatically think kid’s stuff and can’t seem to move past the fact that a lot of animated features have amazing stories.

In Japan, anime (Japanese animation) is key. Among one of the best hailed animators is Hayao Miyazaki, and his Studio Ghibli.

Miyazaki (even though he doesn’t like it), is recognized as the Walt Disney of Japan. His film’s are masterpieces and I can’t think of one in particular that sucks. The lot of his films contain a magical background with hardly any explanation as well as a very imaginative plot.

Take note that his films are weird, but they do not scar, and don’t make you feel uncomfortable about certain scenes.

Even though his films nowadays are released in America by Disney they push past the Disney barrier, it’s hard to fathom by the likes of one that the Disney corporation would even touch something like these.

Key elements in his films contain children in trouble, an epic disaster, as well as random magic. A certain trademark of his includes flight, the way the air reflects off of the hair of a character, the flapping of the clothes, it’s actually quite interesting.

For the next few blogs, I shall be reviewing his works, for they aren’t recognized enough since mostly everybody is thinking that since it’s released by Disney, it’s kid’s stuff. His most recent film was aimed towards children, but that didn’t stop it from being good. To market stuff to children, one should think like a child, and no one captures that as skillfully as Miyazaki-sama. Bravo!

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Next 5 or 6 blogs will be reviews of my favorite films by him

PS For the record, Walt Disney himself was a genuine P.O.S.

Let’s face it peeps, Sly > Arnie. His roles are more memorable and unlike arnie; they carry on a legacy. Rocky was the shit even though some were garbage, Cop Land’s tight, i dont care what anybody says. Cliffhanger was cool, and alot of his other roles (though garbage they may be) are just gold. Even though he and his two other toadies who started Planet Hollywood are Republicans, I tip my hat to his corner.Anyways, RAMBO!FYI: Rambo in Japanese: (ranbou) ?? means violence! I saw part 2 a long time ago at a friends house, and all I remember thinking was, damn! this is cool! so I kinda liked Rambo, he had a cartoon that wasn’t half bad for a cartoon spinoff of an R-rated movie. The NES game sucked, it was a total ripoff of Zelda 2, and thats pretty much all i remember from the time Rambo rolled in to the desolate suburbs of spokane county. Anyway I’ll get to reviewing. First BloodJohn Rambo is an ex-green beret from vietnam turned drifter who wanders through a remote washington town (sultan i think), in search of a former member from his battalion, as he’s passing through, a power-hungry sheriff spots him and tells Rambo to leave, and Rambo flips out on not just the sheriff, but the whole town.3.9 out of 5Rambo: First Blood part 2For Rambo’s crimes, he gets put in a military prison. The US government finds that there are more POWs in Vietnam. Rambo gets hired by a bureaucrat to go and take pics of the prisoners… FUCK THAT! It’s Rambo we’re talking about, he’s going to rescue them and spill blood of the guilty ones. 1 oscar nomination and 5 razzie nominations?! This is 1 of the best action flicks in my opinion. Don’t believe hollywood.4.0 out of 5Rambo IIII’m not gonna bitch about chronology order. An old as dirt colonel gets put on a mission to rescue Afghanistan from being over run by Russians, enter Rambo to save him. It’s worth a peek but it’s got some cheesy dialogue and a little ridiculous in some parts.3.5 out of 5RAMBOHOLY SHIT! After watching everything that has to do with Rambo, you would definitely expect these elements in a Rambo movie these days: The violence just flatout crazy and there were disturbing parts. Anyway the story; good old Rambo has been at peace and living in Thailand. A group of missionaries come by and ask Rambo to take them up the river to a nazi esque Burma/Myanmar. I cant go any further because then I’ll have to type whole movie. It was good but it just didn’t quite cut the mustard. Rambo is Japanese for violence, and that’s what this movie delivers.3.95 out of 5A fifth one is on the way…Catch ya on the flipside 

Oliver Stone’s down right crazy. Natural Born Killers gives me a headache each time I watch it just because the plot is everywhere, a lot’s going on and it’s really out there. Platoon was excellent, I liked it how he got to the nitty-gritty of Vietnam. Any Given Sunday was like a gigantic football commercial. The Doors didn’t cover what I’d expected from Jim Morrison. His film of the World Trade Center came way too early. But I gotta say, the film W. was a pretty ballzy move especially since it didn’t get much publicity.

This film starts off with a bang, there’s no back story and goes full force with the assumptions that you know what’s going on at the start. It starts off with our president having a meeting with every power in the white house discussing WMD’s (weapons of mass destruction) and I won’t throw any spoilers out.

The film jumps around, but it seems necessary for what’s going on; the flashbacks show of W. just being a spoiled rich kid with no direction, and all he wants to do is make “poppy” proud. His desire to be political is still a mystery to me.

This film didn’t really tell us stuff that we didn’t know, it just had a comedic viewpoint of what we thought went on. It really slammed Donald Rumsfeld because the film made it seem like it was entirely his idea to send the troops over to Iraq to bring democracy, and I had no sympathy for that; even if that was what happened.

Like Passion of the Christ, you are immediately supposed to know who’s who. There was hardly any introduction of most of the characters. It was incredibly easy to point out who Condolleeza Rice was… by the tone in her voice. Karl Rove was standing beside W. throughout the movie and was depicted as a jackass guardian angel.

But enough of the political slander, the film in itself had a rugged camera, it was all over the place when something was a scene of importance.

However, it had a bunch of funny moments; for it was meant to be seen as an SNL type of parody. Like I said earlier, this was not exactly a bio-pic but more of a comedic viewpoint as to what we think happened. However there weren’t enough Bushisms throughout the movie, and I think some actual quotes from Bush are downright hilarious.

“Like him or hate him, our current president has a fascinating story of how he started by being a nobody to then being our president and changed what America is.” claims Oliver Stone. I couldn’t agree more.

The economy is crap, we’re fighting for nothing in Iraq, we have a new American holiday, gas prices have sky-rocketed, we are the most hated country in the world, and we are more paranoid thanks to him. I don’t really like him for that. I’m pretty sure  our founding fathers (especially George Washington)  are rolling in their graves knowing of what he’s done to this great country.

But enough of that, I saved a special part here for a couple potshots at Josh Brolin. He did a marvelous job of displaying our president, he got the accent and the look down to a t. But on SNL, when he was making an appearance as a guest host, he slammed Bush verbally. I’m not supporting Bush in anyway but, to research someone fully and to basically spit in there face is completely unmoral. That’s just not cool.

Diane Lane is a goddess, she is married to Josh Brolin. She was in a lot of my favorite movies (RUMBLE FISH), and she is drop dead gorgeous as well as having a great acting skill. There was a report 4 years ago that Brolin in a drunken rage beat her. I am strongly against that shit, it pisses me off to hear stuff like that.

Why in the world would you hit somebody this pretty?

NO EXCUSES

But all in all: W was good, bravo you wife beating p.o.s.

4.0 out of 5

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What can be said about the Ace Man? He’s made quite a dent in everything media. He’s done voice acting, ranted about his manliness and has kept his own with the likes of being on the radio. Before he did any of that he taught boxing and even stepped into the ring a few times. With all of his success in the media, it was time he showed the world how well he could write a movie… and act in it as well. The popularity of this film was nothing too special though, it was in independent theaters for a few weeks, and then 1 or 2 months later, it’s on video.

Jerry is a down on his luck construction worker who’s about to hit the big 4-0, he’s bored with his job, his girlfriend and pretty much life. On his spare time, he teaches boxing at a local gym. Back in the day, he had boxed and wasn’t on top, but he was a good fighter; a scrawny bag of bones like him would deliver a hell of a punch, therefore, the alias “The Hammer” was given to him. When he gets challenged to step in the ring, he gets observed by a scout from the Olympic U.S. boxing team, he’s then asked to join. But there’s something fishy about wanting a man his age to join a team of highly tuned boxing machines. 

The acting was typical Adam Carolla, smart-assery all the way. By that I mean, insults left and right, a slight joke here and there, and it kind of made it stand out from all the rest of the movie that was going on. The other characters were down to earth and had nothing special about them, just like actuality. Life isn’t all special effects and miracles, it’s hard to rise to the top, no matter how many times you get drunk. Boxing is and always has been one of my favorite sports. So it was pretty nice to see one of my favorite comedians dish out his skills.

All in all, this film’s for the guys all the way. If you’re looking for something that isn’t quite as epic as Rocky or Cinderella Man, but have the strength to see a film that’s on the level of the average Joe such as Beer League, check it out. 

4.1 out of 5 Knockout Punches

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On top of the music buisness by the time he was 13, inventor of punk rock, druggie all the way, partied with the Beatles, chopped his brother in half… in case you don’t know who I’m speaking of, it’s the late Dewey Cox. Dewey Cox changed the music industry from the time he was 13 and performed with his band. He then married, and had a bunch of kids. He had at least 30 great albums.

What’s that? You’ve never heard of Dewey Cox? Good, because he’s not real. He’s a creation of Judd Apatow; and played by John C. Reilly. This film delivered a very different kind of funny, just for the ordeal of the many things it was parodizing. John C. Reilly is an odd actor; I’ve seen him do serious roles, angry roles, independent roles, and just plain silly roles. It’s nice to see him climb to the top in a lead role finally. He brought nothing charismatic, but he did bring his A-game to the role which made it seem like no one else could fill the shoes of Dewey Cox.

The story was flat out ridiculous, but it’s a comedy. Comedies aren’t supposed to make you have deep thoughts or exploration for meaning, no, they’re supposed to make you laugh. Mainly the idea of “comedy” has been taking the wrong way these days (Sideways), and parodies are getting more lame (Meet the Spartans). The creators were definitely on to something when they made this film. In a sense, it’s a hardcore rip on Walk the Line (the Johnny Cash movie), and it manages to deliver everything that wouldn’t seem like an insult to the Man in Black. Lots of idiocy was brought about by the use of drugs, such as when Dewey and his band snorted a bunch of cocaine, they all thought it would sound good if they played a song sped up. The result was, “It sounds like the kind of music a bunch of punks would hear!” That had me rolling on the floor laughing.

All in all, it’s a good one. If you’re looking for something original in the sense of parody, check it out. If you want to be viewing a film thats nothing but lame fart jokes and stupid knock offs, Meet the Spartans awaits you. In the spirit of Spinal Tap and with the energy of Walk the Line, I encourage you, down lifes rocky road, if you’re gonna walk… make sure you Walk Hard.

4 out of 5 Guitar Strings

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When I think “gang movie”, I usually can’t help but think of films like The Warriors, The Wanderers, Deuces Wild, etc. and expect straight up violence along with rivalry, betrayal, and gang wars.

With this movie, there is the element of gang movie, but there also is a different depth to the whole feel of this movie. Something wholesome, upbeat and deep. Based on the novel by S.E. Hinton, Francis Ford Coppola delivers this film with something for everyone… plus Matt Dillon & Mickey Rourke! An all-star cast made this movie mesh together pretty well also.

After reading the book, the backdrop seems very colorful and alive, but the way it was shown in the film made it look like an art film that was made in college or a commercial for Calvin Klein, it worked pretty well. There was hardly any color, some scenes contained color but they were only shown on certain objects, more on that later. In almost every scene, there is presence of a clock and smoke (or at least something like it, steam, etc.). Rumor has it that the clocks represent that the main character, Rusty James (Dillon), is running out of time with his life and he has to move on or else something drastic might happen. The smoke I’m not too sure about for it serves as little purpose for when characters are present, I think it might represent the anger level Rusty James is at, which is probably why he’s smoking cigarettes all the time.     

Living day by day keeps getting harder and harder, especially with keeping everything in order. Rusty James is 18 and in high school, in a gang and trying to find a balance within himself. He lives in an industrial part of Tulsa, Oklahoma (very similar to  SoDo) with no drive and ambition towards life. All he wants to do is hang out with his friends, get drunk, fight here and there, and just doesn’t want to grow up. His brother (Rourke) has been gone for a while, and somewhat turned his back to all of his gang, so Rusty James was left in charge of taking care of everything gang-wise. Since the Motorcycle Boy left, the idea of ”gang” seemed a little scarce. One day, Rusty James receives word that he has been challenged by Biff Wilcox to a fight, and of course accepts. In the midst of the fight, his brother “the Motorcycle Boy” arrives back on the scene. Except this time, he’s not the usual badass everybody thought he was, it’s almost as if he had a spiritual awakening, and he’s deep in thought. Throughout the film, it’s almost as if there’s an inner war going on with Rusty James, and he’s just figuring out whats with himself and how he thought he wanted to be just like his brother.

By now, you’re probably wondering why this movie’s been entitled “Rumble Fish”, with all the deep storyline of a see-the-light-kind of deal. Rumble fish is another name for a Siamese fighting fish. The Motorcycle Boy is intrigued by how it’s in the fish’s genetics to fight each other fish to the death when he walks into a pet shop one day. Since the rumble fish are put in tanks, they have no choice but to fight. The Motorcycle Boy wonders, “If they got put in the river, would they still fight each other?” That’s the way he feels as if that’s what Rusty James should do, since he’s fighting all the time. The Motorcycle Boy wants Rusty James to go out to the ocean, and find the same peace he’s found within himself. When I was talking about color, one of the only colors being shown were the bright flashy colors from the rumble fish. When Rusty James realizes how boxed in he was, color is shown.

All in all, this film’s a very good one, no matter what kind of person you are, tough as nails or soft as feathers. It made me ponder for days on end about where I’m going with myself and if it’s right. If you find it on a video store shelf, don’t hesitate, rent it! You won’t be disappointed.

4.9 out of 5 Filleted Halibuts

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CGI animation is used way too much these days. Toy Story, Shrek, Monsters Inc., Antz, I could go on. What happened to the good ol’ days when animation was done on paper; it seems as if CGI is trying to overpower it. But case in point, Kung Fu is awesome, the idea of taking animal forms and developing a fighting style from it is just… extraordinary. I have been into Kung Fu ever since the ripe age of 13, from doing a report on Bruce Lee as an exit project from middle school. Ever since my studying of Lee, I’ve been intrigued by Kung Fu. I’ve been watching new & old Kung Fu movies, and have been intrigued by how facinating it is to watch the true nature of how Kung Fu is performed.

When I got word of Kung Fu Panda coming to theaters, I immediately thought of how overhyped movies don’t do that well (i.e. I Robot), and thought that this film would be a downer. Boy was I wrong.

Ticket prices are ridiculous nowadays! I don’t go and see a movie in theaters unless I think thrice about the movie I’m going to see. The exceptions with this one were due to one of my main likings, Kung Fu. The part of me that wasn’t quite sure was due to critics saying, “This film’s the funniest movie of the year,” when really, it didn’t make me chuckle a little bit (Sideways).

Anyway, I’m sure y’all are tired of my in-depth shpiel for what drove me to seeing this, so here’s the review.

All I can say about the beginning is WOW! Any beginning to a film that can make me laugh in under 5 minutes gets the gold. The beginning in a nutshell is a flashback-type story of how a panda kung fu master came to a village and saved everyone, and the other masters bowed down to his awesomeness, and then told the panda in a stern voice, “We should hang out sometime.” ”Agreed.” Replied the panda. Then the story begins, because it turns out it was all just a dream from this bumbling panda who lives with his father making noodles for a village. The plot goes on as would a normal Kung Fu movie, and it was pretty entertaining: An evil disciple seeking vengeance upon his master, a prophet of Kung Fu training from beginner to expert, a wise teacher with nothing but humbleness, stubborness from students, great fight scenes and a very good story. 

One thing that was all-around cool about this movie was that the animal styles were represented by the actual animals, Tiger, Crane, Monkey, Mantis, and Snake. Seeing the actual animal perform Kung Fu was an interesting touch, and it worked well.

The voice acting fit in nicely, Jack Black seemed his usual self, even in CGI. James Hong was the voice of the panda’s father, you might know him as the dad from Wayne’s World 2 or Wong from Balls of Fury. Dustin Hoffman was the stubborn, wise, little master who seemed to have the correct fitting. Angelina Jolie was the voice of the tiger, Lucy Liu was the voice of the snake, Seth Rogen was the voice of the mantis, one of my favorite comedians (David Cross) was the voice of the crane, and Jackie Chan was the voice of the monkey. While we’re on that subject, I just got to say that Jackie Chan is ok by me, but his voice acting just wasn’t too good. He had probably only 5 lines throughout the movie, and they were short little one-liners. Of course Chan helped out with the fighting choreography so he probably didn’t even want to do any voice acting.

All in all, it was rewarding to see a movie that had so much to offer due to it’s humongous stir-fry of Kung Fu, an appeal to kids, slapstick, engaging dialogue, and a pretty good message. Don’t think for one second that this is strictly for the kids. It’s got something for everybody. I’m pretty sure you know what the ending song for the movie is… Carl Douglas’ “Kung Fu Fighting”.

Overall: 4.95 out of 5 Boards broken by a Kung Fu chop

Thanks For Reading,
catch ya on the flipside.